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Welcome! Any newcomer or member struggling with compulsive gaming is welcome to post here. We encourage you to post an introduction and ask for help.

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Reply to topic  [ 3 posts ] 
 Truth is i think I'm an addict 
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Joined: Mon Oct 03, 2016 12:49 am
Posts: 1
State/Province/Country: Pennsylvania
I'm 30 years old and have done gamed in every form since I was 6. Over the years I have used games to escape stress from real world. I believe I might be one of the worst even tho I'm not trying to compete. Maybe I just feel like crap. I left college 6 years ago, told my wife it was cause I wasn't enjoying it or some other excuse. Truth is I just wanted to game more. I ran up 20k debt for those wasted 2 years. I've been irresponsible recently I opened a credit card to buy a laptop just so I could game at work. Lied to my Wife about it. She confronted me about it and I told her I never opened one. Even though we both know I can't even admit to her what I did. I have two kids and I ignore them cause I would rather game. It makes me sick. I have always felt better gaming cause I could control it better than life. I've browsed this website for awhile I always thought it wasn't true. I kept thinking I can control my impulse. I can't I truly can't I game everywhere I am on my pc at home at work on the road. I want to not be bored outside of a game. I want to feel happy outside of a game. I've experienced happiness outside but I always want to go back. I see my kids looking at me waiting for me to teach them and I feel helpless cause I want to just get them to bed as quickly as I can to game. I can't do it anymore. I need to be there for them for my wife.

Apologies for wall of text. I felt it better to keep typing what I am feeling right now.

Mon Oct 03, 2016 1:12 am

Joined: Sat May 17, 2014 3:06 pm
Posts: 968
Location: Charlottesville
State/Province/Country: Virginia
Welcome Scoop, glad you found us here! I can relate so much to what you wrote. I felt sure I could control my gaming eventually, when I really wanted and needed to, even though all evidence pointed to the contrary. It spun out of control. I lost thousands of dollars, it affected my job, my relationships were harmed, I felt guilty, irritable, lonely, ashamed. I did my best to spend time with my kids and not allow gaming to cut into that time, and mostly I did not neglect to spend time with them, but mentally I was absent. Mentally I was very tired, sleep deprived (from late night gaming), antsy, irritable, and obsessed with gaming.

Today, I accept that when I game, I can't help but binge and bring down this avalanche of problems on myself and the people I love. I accept that my top priority must be to not start that first game today.

Since I stopped gaming, every single area of my life is much improved. Every single one. Relationships, time with my kids, social life, physical health, mental health, self esteem, work, hobbies, peace of mind, hygiene, home cleanliness, reputation, you name it. Sometimes I miss games, sometimes I miss the oblivion of losing myself in them or the high of a big win. But I am not willing to throw away all the most valuable things in life, not willing to trash my relationships or treat myself like dirt, not willing to return to a living hell, just so I can play some video games. Today I have other ways, healthy ways, of coping with stress and blowing off steam and feeling better about myself. Life has never been better.

I hope you're able to give yourself the positive change you need and deserve by accepting the support available in our fellowship. Come to some meetings and listen, get to know people, try out things that have worked well for us. You're worth it.

Mon Oct 03, 2016 12:48 pm

Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2016 1:43 pm
Posts: 37
State/Province/Country: California
Great share, Scoop2. Looking forward to seeing you at the meetings.

Mon Oct 03, 2016 1:15 pm
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