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 Mumble meeting etiquette question 
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Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2017 10:23 pm
Posts: 1
State/Province/Country: CA USA
I attended my first meeting last night and another today, heard something someone mentioned and in the spirit of not breaking meeting etiquette have a question. I have attended AA meetings with both my mother (before cirrhosis took her) and now my father who is 2 years sober. I assumed the online meetings were more or less the same as the AA meeting where people talked in detail about their alcoholism (alcohol of choice, quantity used, effects on their life, etc) and as such I shared those type of details in the two meetings I attended. However I heard someone name their game of choice at a period in their life and then express a regret for naming that game for fear it may trigger other people in the meeting. Is it encouraged to refrain from talking about game specifics when sharing? Just want to make sure so I am not unintentionally breaking meeting etiquette.

Thanks


Wed Feb 01, 2017 5:02 pm
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Joined: Sat May 17, 2014 3:06 pm
Posts: 968
Location: Charlottesville
State/Province/Country: Virginia
Hi D, yes we generally refrain from gaming specifics, partly because it can be triggering for some people. Another reason is that those details are not important in dealing with the problem. Back when I was trying to get control of my life on my own (and consistently failing), I was focused on the specifics of games. I thought certain games were addictive and maybe certain genres, and wanted to cut those out and just play other games. Today I realize that the problem centers in my mind and that recovery has nothing to do with which games I used to play.

We don't have rules. We do have agreed upon etiquette, such as avoiding cross talk, but we never talked formally about avoiding game details that can trigger.

People who are new will often mention the names of certain games and that's no problem, that I can see. Then as we progress in recovery, we all seem to leave those irrelevant details behind and focus on the things that matter.


Wed Feb 01, 2017 7:02 pm
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Joined: Sat May 17, 2014 4:04 pm
Posts: 323
Location: Detroit, MI
Hello D. Pretty much what Scott said. There's no formal rule against it, but we don't typically encourage it because it can be triggering and isn't actually all that relevant to what I need to do in order to get and stay sober. If we start focusing on games played, it gets easy to focus on the differences (many people do MMOs or FPS, I did neither) instead of the similarities (the way I played my games is essentially indistinguishable from the way the other people here played, even if the games were totally different).

So we aren't going to get upset if you get specific about which game you played, but it might trigger somebody, and sharing specifically about what you played probably won't help your recovery. Sharing about HOW you played might (the obsession and compulsion), but the "what" doesn't seem to be all that important.


Fri Feb 03, 2017 11:01 pm
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