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 Working the steps 
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Joined: Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:21 pm
Posts: 147
State/Province/Country: NC, USA
Just got off the phone with my former sponsor in AA and he basically told me that the problems I was bringing up were not problems with any of the things I was angry about, but problems with resulting from my not working the steps in my life. If I don't want to be angry, then I need to work the steps some more and do service work. If I do want to be angry, then I should continue on with business as usual.

I don't want to be angry anymore. Its no fun.

Mon Feb 20, 2017 5:41 pm

Joined: Sat May 17, 2014 3:06 pm
Posts: 969
Location: Charlottesville
State/Province/Country: Virginia
Just noticed that I hadn't yet responded to this post and wanted to pipe up and say, me too! Whenever I get away from my 10-11-12 maintenance steps, the gradual yet steady decline into resentment, irritability, victim patterns, anger, finger pointing, self pity, and isolation begins. I don't like living that way. I don't like how it affects my whole life. I don't like how it affects my family and friends. I don't like how it powers self loathing and escapist urges.

Regular consistent work on the steps can be hard, but life without that work is much much harder. Thanks for the reminder Morgan. Today I choose the softer easier way. (Which is doing the necessary maintenance work, in case that's unclear.)

Sat May 13, 2017 5:17 pm

Joined: Sat May 17, 2014 4:04 pm
Posts: 324
Location: Detroit, MI
Heh...glad you responded and got this bumped back up to the top, Scott. Something that I've been having pushed to the forefront of my mind for the last little bit is that I have this impressively misguided tendency to see my recovery as a destination of sorts...something about which I can someday say "I've arrived"...and stop traveling. The reality is that recovery is a direction that I can (and must, if I want things to keep going well) always keep moving in, not a place that I can ever reach.

Without fail, when I feel like I've "arrived" either in recovery or in my relationship with God, things start to slide back down toward the miserable place I used to be. It starts out pretty slowly, but inevitably builds up speed and eventually becomes something rather unpleasant that I really don't want to deal with. Life goes better when I'm aware of the fact that my goal is to keep moving in this direction as opposed to trying to reach some final destination at which I can just "rest". Thanks for letting me be reminded of this fact yet again.

Mon May 15, 2017 8:41 pm
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Joined: Sat May 17, 2014 4:59 pm
Posts: 680
Location: Colorado (Front Range Urban Corridor)
State/Province/Country: Colorado, USA
You nailed it, LS. Recovery is a direction I am moving in, not a place. A very clear statement. And I'm really just starting to realize what that means for me.

For me, that direction involves getting help from my sources of higher power to do the next right thing. The fellowship, the literature, the principles of the program and the inner voice that tells me the truth. When I try to slam through stuff on my own (which is what I did a lot this year), I fail. (And fail I did.)

I remember what one of my sponsors has shared: On my best day, my life is unmanageable by me alone. And on my worst day, in the middle of a relapse, I can get back to perfect recovery by seeking help from higher power. It's the direction that counts.

That's the simple, yet (for me) quite difficult message of the program. Help is available. Ask for it. Listen to it. Do it.

Getting good at moving in that direction is going to take the rest of my life.

You have to go the way the way your blood beats:
If you don't live the only life you have,
You won't live some other life,
You just won't live any life at all.

I was dan1 in a former life.

skype: dan939f
reddit: DansNewLife

Tue May 16, 2017 1:14 am
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